I long for a day when I would be free from sin. Not only from my own sin but also from the sins of those around me. I hate what it does in me and in the people that I love. Thanks to be God! That day is coming!
Many times in a span of just one week, my emotions would rise and fall like waves at the sea. At age 48, I still struggle with insecurities and self-doubt, which really come from lack of faith. I must struggle mightily not to give into envy and self-loathing and remind myself of the gospel just to stay afloat. 
When I was younger, I thought by the time I’m this age, I would be beyond these issues. But I am not. And I realize that these struggles will be there until the day I die. Therefore, I long for that day when there would be no more fight. The day when my inside and outside would perfectly match and struggling against the flesh would be a distant memory.
You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed.Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees!Psalm 119:5
My desire is the same as the psalmist’s. I know God’s way is good. But I cannot always obey it. There is another “me” living in me that desires something else. And it is that “me” that I am struggling with. It’s the old me that keeps on coming back to life like a zombie…
²² For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, ²³ but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. ²⁴ Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Romans 7:22-25You and I have only one hope – Jesus Christ. Look to Him for your justification and sanctification!PH