The older I get, the less confident I get of myself. But rather than making me gun-shy and timid, it’s making me bolder and thick-skinned. But doesn’t that mean that I’m becoming more confident of myself and not less confident? No. I’m becoming less confident of my own abilities for sure. But I’m becoming more confident of God’s abilities.

When I was young, I was so sure that if a gun was pointed to my head and it’s either me or Christ, I’d choose Christ. But now that I’m older and supposedly more mature, I’m not so sure. It’s not that my resolve regarding Christ has changed. It’s just that I’m not so sure of myself anymore, and this includes my resolve to do something for Christ.

Matt 26:33, “Peter replied, ‘Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will!”

Peter was so sure he was ready to die for Jesus. But when the moment came, he backed out. He didn’t really know himself. Later on, after the resurrection, when Jesus asks him if he loved Him, Peter replies, “Lord, you know all things….” He’s not so sure of himself anymore. Brashness is gone. Humility has set in.

But Christ is greater even than our failures. He is greater than our sin. He knows that we will fail – lots of times. But He is still there, loving us and being patient with us. And one day, we will make good on our promise. Peter no longer shied away from the cross. We will be sanctified. We are predestined to do so (Rom 8:29).

I’m growing less confident of myself. But I’m growing more confident of God.

I pray you do, too.

PH