Love:  Our motivation to serve God and each other (Stand-alone)

 Introduction:  1 John 3:16-18–By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

-”Anything you know you can do, with what you have, to show the love of Christ”

Ex: my children helping each other=mechanic, photography, hairdresser, tutor-but also with your life experiences, and how God has healed you from some things=testimony/an encourager in grace

-All of these can be acts of love to serve people-yet along the way our heart can get hardened and we simply work…

Ex: Counseling to ministry helped me see that you cannot do it effectively, without your heart being the main motivation.

-John 3:16-God so loved…-the motivation of God was love to serve-so as a Christian if our motivation is not love what is?

-it could be many things, guilt, selfish ambition, tradition, etc-but for love to be genuine and become unconditional their has to be an abiding in God

 

The three distinct “loves”

*ERAO:  sexual or physical love. This kind of love (love-making) is necessarily reciprocal, that is, it requires a response. If the love is not reciprocal (returned), we call that rape.       

 

*PHILEO:  affection, brotherly love or psychological love. This describes a deep friendship of kindred minds and also requires a response. If the person you have an affection for does not return the affection, no meaningful relationship can exist.!

1 Peter 1:22-23-Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, 23 since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God;

–If obedience to God is not the goal to live by-you won’t have genuine affection for your brother or sister, or anyone

–what purifies our soul is obedience to God, so the commands to forgive, be merciful, be patient-all cleanse the soul so I can genuinely love anybody!

-If genuine affection from God is something we refuse to submit ourselves to-it is evidence of our immaturity (conditional)

 

*The comfortable and stagnant stage

The goal: is to have genuine affection for my brother in Christ, because we should share the same heart & mind in truth

1 John 4:11-Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

-So I am not waiting on you to have affection for me, I am the initiator of this affection-because I serve God! I shouldn’t remain conditional in love and affection for people

-pride is the reason you and I remain stagnant and conditional in our love walk with God & people-it keeps me from obeying and initiating love

Ex: ministry (your home) should always be maturing in love-what keeps it stagnant is pride, our refusal to obey God that love can flow (1 John 4:11)

-We look to have these (phileo) relationships-because it’s easier to be conditional in our love

-it is too humiliating to keep pouring out affection and you don’t give it back (but the gospel keeps you fighting to love)

Ex:  This is why God allows for us to have hard relationships to deal with in our lives-it test whether we treat them less than God treats us=this produces humility

-If we have never dealt with our pride, bitterness, “isms”, etc. to show genuine affection-we may have never experienced love from God-Luke 4:18-19-“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

-We were all captive to bitterness, pride, selfishness, etc, keeping us conditional–Being set free to reveal to others this same love you experienced!

 

*AGAPAO:  a deep, abiding devotion and commitment that is spiritual and uniquely Christian. This is God’s love (1 John 4:7-11) and exists only in the heart of one indwelt by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). It does not require anything in return which is how it is even conceivable that anyone could obey Christ’s command to “love your enemies.” Indeed, the proof of possessing eternal life both to ourselves (1 John 3:14-16) and to the world (John 13:35) is the demonstration of this AGAPAO love for other members of the body of Christ.

Romans 5:6-8–For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

-weak is to be helpless, morally not lovable for God’s holy standard–we generally want to present how wonderful we are in order to be loved=this is pride-Ex: no one exposes weaknesses in dating

–pride always reveals our failure to understand the gospel as the foundation of our value-so we create an image that we think would be lovable-1 Corinthians 15:22-For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive

–Adam’s image of sin made fig leaves to hide his shame/weaknesses from God-”I am hiding from you what makes me unlovable”

Ex: this is how the devil isolates us in our shame making us ineffective-if I am hiding from God, I have no place to bring my shame…so I create an image that people approve of….

Galatians 1:10-For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

-The kind of love Jesus displays has no need to hide and live for people’s approval (the gospel)-”yet sinners”

-Embracing Christ love should remind you that you are loved unconditionally-what is keeping you from loving unconditionally?

 

*How Idols threaten the love of God

-Whatever keeps you from having a pure heart to love unconditionally is an idol in your heart-that threatens to take over if you don’t deal with before God

–Because God wants our whole heart-that there be no affection, reserved for someone or something else to take over-

1 John 4:8-Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 Chronicles 29:19-Grant to Solomon my son a whole heart that he may keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes, performing all, and that he may build the palace for which I have made provision.”

-David understood that God’s Kingdom is upheld in wholehearted love for Him-while idols will compromise love for God and exalting His Kingdom-(idols keep us dependent on things outside of God to love and be loved)

The first two “loves” (above) are self-gratifying (self-centered) whereas this AGAPAO love is oriented to others’ needs and (God-centered)

 

*Finding our “stage” with a desire to grow

1) Infant stage-The believer is a baby, and God proves His love mightily while you are just at the receiving stage-His love, His forgiveness, peace, etc.-The issue:  You cannot remain a grown baby, expecting everyone to make much of you

-”Everyone, including God is here is to serve me”-Everything is for you, self-centered and offended when people don’t make much about you-pride is still at a high level in the infant stage-Ex: a baby has no concern other than to be fed…

1 Peter 2:2-3– Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up to salvation— 3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.

-the responsibility and hones to grow as a Christian is on you to want to=desire-Ex: being old and immature

 

2) Conditional stage-The believer now understands service for God, a since of appreciation to serve-but their love for God and people is based on how they feel, how they are treated, or how things are going

Ex: People are likely to stay in this stage when their hurt or abuse is stronger, than the love they have for God and people-you need healing from the Lord, the idol of past pain reserves your heart from people, but also God!

Ephesians 6:11,13–Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 13Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

–One of the main schemes the devil uses on Christians is bitterness-bitterness in an immature person is devastating, their deep pain keeps them focused on themselves and their condition-Ex: build a wall not to get hurt, but no love enters!

-God is saying that we need the whole armor of God, so that we are able to be unconditional-that evil of any kind doesn’t move me off walking in love with God and people=Jesus!

-evil is coming from people, will you stand and love anyway?-our immaturity could be keeping us from helping others who have been hurt like you…1 Corinthians 10:13- No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

–As long as you see your pain as unique-you will always give yourself an excuse to remain conditional

So because no love is getting in nor really going out from God, you crash and burn!

 

3) Crash and Burn stage-As a believer you understand the need to serve God and people, but because you don’t receive from God, you eventually get burned out from “serving”

-sadly such people become burned out and bitter with serving and church-because they never really received from God=Christ in the gospel

Mark 10:45-For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

–If you don’t learn how to receive from Jesus constantly, you will get burned out of everything you are involved in.-”Serving” can never replace real love-You become like Martha, forever busy with little worship and love to give…

Ex: if you don’t learn how to receive forgiveness from God by repenting you will have deep shame issues…

-which keep you from believing you should receive love from God and people-great at serving, yet very unloving as it is defined by God=very conditional, your happiness is based on “how good” you have been

Ex:  trying to religiously work off deep shame by being busy for God-these kind of people are generally adored by pastors and churches because they do a lot of work!-But much like Adam and Eve, hiding from God with religion…

 

4)  Abiding in God stage-The believer understands that not only is God the most important Person in their life, they live like it.  Their motivation, their decisions in life, relationships and goal is to live for God and His purpose.

-When your satisfaction is in God-you no longer depend on the actions or reaction of people to motivate you to love

John 4:32-34–But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.”  33 So the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought him something to eat?” 34 Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. 

-When you live abiding in God, and allow Him to be your “food”-people and circumstances lose their power, but by God’s power you freely love and do what God called you to do=Jesus

-Truly abiding in God means this-”there is not a person or thing that is keeping me from staying with God and showing His love”

Psalm 63:3-Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.

-When we get to the abiding in God stage-we stop settling to live a life that falls short of His love, in receiving/giving

Ex: Job kept his integrity-lost the love of his wife, his children, his prestige, and wealth, and stayed with God

 

*Conclusion:  When you recognize what is essential and what is not?=maturity in love

–Have you declared who and what is essential in your life?-Because you may have things labeled in your heart as essential that God doesn’t..Ex:-A certain lifestyle, marriage, kids, healthy kids, a healthy spouse, a job you like, your image, pride

-The toughest times I have had were the times God was taking away from me what I thought was essential-Are non-essential things keeping you from deeper love in God and service for people?

What idols have you labeled essential, and are they keeping you from a deeper relationship with God and serving people?