ATTN: A young person I know once said, “It’s easy to love God, but impossible to love His people!” Human relationships are hard! For example, you’d think if two people knew each other as friends for a long time, and dated each other for a couple years, almost spending every minute together, and then finally marry each other and live together for several years, you’d think that they should be able to read exactly what the other is thinking and truly love and care for each other, but the reality is exactly the opposite. Sometimes Janet and I will be in a group conversation and she will look at me and raise her eyebrow. And then after the group has left, she will say something like, “Were you thinking what I was thinking?” And I will say, “I have no idea what you were thinking. I can’t read your mind. Spit it out, woman!” Now, when I say that and I see a disgusted look on her face, I know then what she’s thinking about what I just said: “You idiot! After all these years of me training you to read my mind, you still haven’t figured it out! What is wrong with you?” Relationships are hard. And it’s not just between a man and his wife. That is between two close church members, between two close friends, between mother and daughter, father and son and between sisters. I can’t tell you how often my two daughters, who are otherwise best friends, bicker and fight over the smallest things and tells on each other to us the parents! Human relationships are hard! Let’s face it. Some of us prefer dogs to people because they are easier to deal with!

Perhaps because of this, Jesus, on the sermon on the mount, speaks on this. I realize that every single thing that Jesus talks about on this sermon involves human relationship. Anger. Lust. Divorce. Oaths. All have to do with our interactions with other people. And today, we come to the topic of how to deal with difficult people, as a person who belongs to the kingdom of God.

Here’s my outline for the message: 1) What is the game plan? 2) Why are we following that game plan? 3) What is the ultimate aim?

1) What is the game plan for dealing with difficult people?

It is this: You die, so they could live! How Jesus is expecting us to treat our enemies, or those who take advantage of us is to go above and beyond our call of duty. And that will feel like death to us! He says in v. 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” That makes sense. If you are good to me, then I will be good to you, but if you are evil to me, then I will be evil to you. That is the natural response. But Jesus says (v. 44), “But I say to you, ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” And in case we missed it, Jesus gives us examples: v. 39-42 – “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”

This is unfathomable. This is crazy! In today’s vernacular, this is like saying, “If somebody cuts in front of you at Starbucks, buy him coffee.” “If your neighbor hasn’t returned the lawnmower he borrowed from you a month ago, ask him if he wants to borrow you weed-whacker also. If the annoying traffic camera caught you and the fine is $100, pay them $200!”

Who would do such a thing? Only those who are convinced that they deserved death and hell, but got heaven instead. Only those who are on death-row, about to be executed, but were pardoned and got a mansion as a pardon gift even though they were guilty! You just got news that your rich uncle left you with $25 million as inheritance, and on the way to the city he lives in to collect your inheritance, you got caught on their traffic camera and got fined $100. But you are so in love with the city that your uncle lived in who left you with $25 million, you would gladly contribute to the city double what you owe!

I think we get upset at those who cause us minor disturbance because we forget the magnitude of our sin and how close we were to being thrown into hell forever. As Jonathan Edwards put it, “We were like a spider being dangled over a fire,” ready to drop into the fire any moment when that web is cut! Instead, what we got is life we couldn’t even dream of. A life that will make us appreciate even our hardships and hurts because

The game plan is to die. Die, knowing that you have eternal life. Give, knowing that you have eternal inheritance in heaven. Gladly give up your right, knowing that you will own the world soon!

2) Why are we following that game plan?

Why should we go so above and beyond what is required of us? Why should we love those who hate us? Why should we bless those who curse us? Three reasons: A) To show that we are sons of God. B) for a reward, and C) because of pride we have of being what we are.

1. A) To show that we are children of God: 44, “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.” Here, Jesus is not saying that if we act a certain way – such as loving our enemies – then God will accept us and we will become the children of God. Rather Jesus is saying that if we are acting a certain way that the world is not familiar with, then that SHOWS that we belong to the Father. How do we know that? Because the next verse says that is what our Heavenly Father does to wicked people:, “For he [God] makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” In other words, like Father, like son – if we belong to Him, we will be equally good to those who do not deserve goodness just like our Father did. The reverse of this: If we are treating people only according to what they deserve, that may be proof that we do not really belong to God. If justice is all you show but never grace and mercy, then you do not belong to God.
2. B) For a reward: 46 “For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?” So, Jesus expects us to work for reward. He assumes that we would want reward and He does not shy away from using reward as a motivation for us to act a certain way. Maybe you don’t have a problem with this concept, but some people do. They will say, “But shouldn’t we do good for goodness sake and not for some reward? That’s what altruism dictates – “You should do good for goodness sake and not because there is something in it for you.” The logic is that if you do good for a reward, you really did it for yourself and not for the other. To that, I’d say: Not if that reward was the natural outcome of what you pursued after. What I mean is that there is legitimate reward that we should pursue and there is illegitimate reward that we can pursue. When I was single and dating Janet, I was pursuing the relationship with the ultimate reward of marriage in mind. My motive for pursuing the relationship with her was so that I would get the reward of spending the rest of my life with her in marriage. That is the legitimate reward because that is the natural outcome of the love relationship. But If I was pursuing the relationship with Janet so that I could have her money, that would be the wrong reward – why? Because money is not the natural outcome of a love relationship. So, in our relationship with God also, there is natural and therefore good reward we seek for and there is also unnatural and evil reward we can seek for as well. If we are seeking after God so that our joy and love will grow deeper, then that is the right reward we seek for. But if we are seeking after god so that God will make us healthy and wealthy, then that is the wrong reward we are seeking for. I know that sounded pretty brilliant. It’s not from me but from C.S. Lewis…
3. C) Because of pride we have of being what we are: 46b, “Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?” In other words Jesus is saying, “Have pride in who you are and don’t stoop down to the level of the unbelieving!” That’s using pride to help us act differently. A very popular preacher of our day actually says that Jesus does not use pride to motivate us because that would be using a greater sin, pride, to quell a smaller sin, prejudice. But Jesus clearly uses pride to combat a sin of being unloving. But isn’t pride sin? Depends on pride in what? 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Here, Paul is boasting. He is proud! But of what? Of himself? No! Of what God has done in Him although he was completely weak and undeserving. He was boasting of God. He was proud of God and His work. It is not self-confidence but god-confidence!

Jesus is saying, “You belong to God. You are a child of the king. Therefore, act in such a way that will be fitting to your new position that I have given you!” BE WHAT YOU ARE, as John Piper would put it. This is the total opposite of when the world says, “Be yourself” What they mean is that you should be confident in yourself and be whatever you feel yourself to be. But godly, “Be what you are,” is “God has made you what you could never be on your own – the child of the king. Now, be god-confident and act in compassion and love that accords with your new position!”

 3) What is the ultimate aim?

Perfection. V. 48, “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” That is our aim in dealing with difficult people. We are to be perfect. But what does it mean? Is he talking about moral perfection? If so, then shouldn’t we give our enemies what they deserve? Prob. 11:21, “Be assured, an evil person will not go unpunished, but the offspring of the righteous will be delivered.”

       No, the perfection Jesus is talking about in this instant is showing mercy. In the context which this is spoken, Jesus is saying that we should be so thrilled and overcome by the grace and mercy shown to us in spite of our sin, making us heirs and children, we should also be perfectly merciful like God and show mercy to even our enemies. We are never more like God than when we forgive and when we show mercy. The world operates on the basis of, “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” If you cut me off on traffic, I cut you off. If you steal my merchandise, I shoot you. If you sue me, I counter sue you. But Jesus says to be perfect by loving our enemies and showing mercy to them. That is the type of perfection that God accepts. It is not so much how clean we kept our lives – see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil –yes, that too, but it’s more –   it’s how we have treated those who are thorns on our sides. So, perfection in God’s eyes is not only keeping ourselves from evil, but also showing mercy to those who don’t deserve it.

CONC: I grew up hearing stories of great Christians loving their enemies, and I was so inspired by them to do likewise. But I realize just how difficult this is to live out in real life. When someone gives me a finger because I’m driving too slow, I’m not praying for that person. I’m wishing that he will run into a tree! How do I do the impossible of loving those who are unlovely to me? I believe the answer is in realizing deeply who my Father is. Jesus says, “You therefore must be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” Jesus reminds us who our Father is. My Heavenly Father is God himself. He is not a drunkard who only cares about himself. He’s not a tyrant who orders me around. He is not an absent parent who shows up only when he feels guilty. No. He’s my Heavenly Father who made me and then bought me – at the cost of His eternal Son’s life – therefore, I’m twice His. And He will make me inherit all that is His. We dream about being born into a rich and famous family – such as the Kardashians – but we have God as our Father! He holds the world in His hands! I get to go home with Him at the end of the day. I get to stay at His house where there are many rooms. I get to eat from His gardens that will bear 12 different kinds of fruits all year long. I get to rule His cities that He gives to me. I get to live forever in perfect happiness and rest in Him. And this good Father sacrificed His only perfect Son to earn my stay in His house. I want to be like this Father. I can bear for a little while here on earth with those who are against me. I can even love them because they clearly do not see the Father like I do and I can pray for them because they are so lost without having this Father as their father.