ATTN: There are two ways to obtain happiness or joy. One is by changing the outer self and the other is changing the inner self. By outer self, I mean physical, material, self which is directly influenced by our outer circumstances. This is how most people try to obtain happiness – by changing their outer circumstances – such as a bigger house, better car, higher paying job, marriage, etc. The other is by changing the inner self – the spiritual self which is the seat of our identity, perspective, and learning to be content in what we have. However, I lied. The first way does not work – changing our outer self to obtain happiness. the outer self is temporary, and so lasting happiness is not possible. Want proof? If happiness comes from the outer self, then americans should be the happiest people on earth because we have it so much better than the rest of the world but we are not! Changing the outer self for lasting happiness is like a child chasing after bubbles. As soon as she touches one, it pops. The inner self is eternal – that is the part that makes it to heaven. So, if we want to have joy that lasts and joy even if our outer conditions don’t improve or worsens, then our inner self has to change. If you look at what Paul prays for in the bible for the Christians, and they were going through extreme hardships with poverty and persecution,he very rarely prayed that God will change their circumstances but rather God will strengthen the inner self so that they can endure them with joy. For example, philippians 1:16 “I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!” And he was writing this from prison and he never asks the Philippians to pray for his release…

One of the ways the inner self gets changed is by choosing gratitude. By choosing to give thanks in all circumstances. A happy person is a thankful person.  Think of a man who is madly in love who just proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes. How does his heart feel? Thankful. “Thank you, Lord, she said yes!” The opposite is also true. When you see a miserable person, you are seeing an ungrateful person. Think of a child who is sprawled about on the toy store banging on the floor because he wants a toy he just saw that day. And he has 50,000 toys just like it at home! He is ungrateful. So, being grateful is essential to being happy. They go hand in hand. “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 thess 5:16

How can we become more grateful? So that we can be happy? 1. Recognize. 2. Repent. 3 remember.

1. Recognize

Recognize the sin of ingratitude in you. It’s the sin that says, “I deserve this. I am entitled to this! I earned this!” Satan whispers in your ear, “You are worth it. It’s unfair you don’t get to have this. You deserve this” in the form of an advertisement. What you and I deserved was death and hell. The gas chambers of auschwitz is what we deserved. I am convinced that tragic event in history was to serve as a vivid reminder by God of the hell that we deserved. And this sin of ingratitude is very serious because it is the source of so many other sins. Romans 1:21, For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.” So what happened next? v. 28 “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.” How did we get here? We were ungrateful. We feel we deserve better. We are entitled. We are worth it. So, we compare, we get depressed, we go into self-pity and we develop a secret habit to make us feel better temporarily. We destroying ourselves… We are eating our own flesh when we are ungrateful!

What caused it? Ingratitude. First step? Recognize when you are ungrateful.

2. Repent

Pray for forgiveness and help. “God, I’m complaining. Help!” “God, I am so miserable. I look at others around me and they seem to have to so much better than me. Life seems so unfair. But God I know you love me. I deserved death and hell and yet you have given me life eternal. I will hope in you!” Now, you are turning from your outer self to focusing on the inner self. You are turning from what you don’t have to what God has given you!

And pray! Not for outer circumstances to change so much. But for our inner self to change. It is not wrong to pray for health, healing, money to pay for bills, traveling mercies, but it is far more important that our inner self is changed so that we can see the treasures God has already given us that we can’t see! I wish for us to be a people who are more concerned about the change in the inner self than the outer self. I want our prayer requests to be more about the inner self than the outer self. Yes, we pray for healing. Yes, we pray for safety. But they are all temporary. Everyone Jesus healed miraculously eventually died a few years ago. The outer self is temporary! So, we repent for focusing so much on the outer self. Has it ever occurred to us that God has made our outer self, our circumstances difficult so that our inner self may be developed?

So, we must repent, turn from focusing on the outer to focusing on the inner. What good is asking for a 75 inch 4k resolution TV when you are blind? What good is a $10,000 audio system when you are deaf? Ask for God to open your eyes and open your ears so that you can see and hear and savor God’s goodness that is all around you already.

3. Remember

Remember to choose gratitude. It is a choice we have to make again and again. This message was inspired by a book titled, “Choosing gratitude,” written by a woman named, Nancy DeMoss, and in the book she asks Joni Eareckson Tada, who lived her entire adult life on a wheelchair as a quadriplegic, paralyzed from neck down on a freak accident, how she could be so happy in the midst of so many challenges you and I cannot imagine. She said she’s just disciplined herself to “give thanks in all things,” so now it’s become a reflex reaction. I have read a book by Joni Eareckson Tada and she said that she is thankful, thankful for her quadriplegic condition! It was because of it she is able to minister to millions of people all over the world and give hope to them. Her reward will be so much greater than mine in heaven. And for that I’m righteously jealous…

Remember gratitude. Remember Jesus. Remember we deserved death and hell. Remember, we got Jesus instead, who is the source of all joy, pleasure and beauty. And remember quickly and often.

ILL:     – In Nancy’s book, she describes a true account of a father who suddenly lost his 7 year old daughter. And what was this godly dad’s response to the family? “I am thankful that we had 7 years with her…”

– When Horacio spafford lost all four of his daughters when the ship they were on sank, He penned this famous hymn that goes, “It is well with my soul….

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

He was looking at the very waters that swallowed all his children and he penned those words….

– When Job was told his 10 children had been crushed under a collapsed house, he fell on the ground and worshipped and said, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Gratitude even in the midst of unimaginable tragedy… Did you know that it is possible to have joy in the midst of sorrows? Yes, they are not mutually exclusive. This is only possible for Christians whose ultimate hope is in Christ who transcends death, life, riches, and poverty.

CONC: would you be quick to give thanks often? Would you discipline yourself to give thanks in all circumstances? After all, God works all things for the good of those who love Him. If you got pulled over and got a speeding ticket, perhaps it was because God knew that you would’ve gotten into a terrible wreck if that cop didn’t pull you over. Would you be thankful? Be thankful for the things you have as well as the things you don’t – such as a large amount of money that would certainly ruin your faith.

Recognize. Repent. Remember, and remember again and again until it becomes a habit. Until one day, when tragedy strikes, we too can be thankful and have joy in the midst of sorrows.