[We apologize for the audio quality of this sermon… ]

Love is… (5/21/17 Our goals #3: Communities formed: 1 cor 13)

ATTN: Recently, in a phone conversation, I was asked if we need to learn to love ourselves before we can love God and others. After all, Jesus said, “love your neighbor as yourself,” which seems to mean we can’t love our neighbor if we don’t love ourselves. So, we must learn to love ourselves first before we learn to love God and love others. So, the logic goes. Well, Whitney Houston even sang about it – the greatest love of all is loving yourself. But this is a perfect example of taking what God said and making it out to be exactly the opposite of what He said. “Before we can love others, we must learn to love ourselves… “ So, using that logic, we cater first to our needs and desires, often shunning what others need around us, which is exactly the opposite of what Jesus said. In the name of loving ourselves, we have gotten divorces, abandoned our children, we have changed our sexual-orientation, church, a license for selfishness! Consider these verses: Phil 2:3, “in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Romans 12:10,  Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 1 John 3:16, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.” I don’t read anywhere in the Bible that before we can love others, we must love ourselves. What Jesus assumed when he told us to love our neighbor as ourselves is that we already love ourselves. We are born that way. A child doesn’t need to be taught to be selfish or self-centered. They naturally are! We love ourselves out of the womb. Too much so! What we do need to learn rather is to learn to put others and especially God, before ourselves.

So, we will look at 1 Corinthians 13, commonly referred to as the love chapter, and learn some characteristics of love: 1) Love reveals our worth. 2) Love is practical. 3) Love is impossible.

1. Love reveals our worth

What determines someone’s worth? What does our society look at? What do YOU look at? Normally, we associate person’s value to his/her earning potential. Think of all the things that we do in trying to increase our value. We get educated. We acquire skills. We marry up. We associate with others deem valuable. We do all this because there is an underlying assumption that our worth is monetary – our earning potential. But that is what man looks at. God does not assess our worth based on monetary value. He looks at our worth based on how we love!

“And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if i have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” 1 Cor. 13:2

Think of all that Paul says are worthless without love. What if you met a person who knows things about you that no one should know and be able to tell you whom you will marry and where you will work and be right about all those things? Maybe the winning lottery number??? Wouldn’t you think he’s something? Not in God’s eyes if he doesn’t love.

What about the person who reads the Bible in the original language and is able to answer every one of your Bible questions in way more details than you have ever thought possible? An intellecutal giant, and you feel like such an ignoramus. But without love, he’s worth nothing.

What about someone with a gift of healing? This man prayed for your mom who had lung cancer, and after his prayer, the MRI shows that your mother is free of cancer! Wow, isn’t he something? Yet without love, this man is nothing!

Paul, writes to the Corinthian Christians who valued spiritual gifts, and he names some of the most spectacular gifts that the Corinthians would go ga ga over, but love trumps them all! In God’s eyes, a person who devotes his entire life to taking care of nobodies is somebody, but the world’s presidents, kings, business tycoons, celebrities, hall of fame athletes without love are nobodies.

If a human soul ever had a price tag, it would be on how ripe our love is.

“The worth and excellency of a soul is to be measured by the object of its love.”  – Henry Scougal

– you are what you love.

– your worth is how much you love.

2. Love is practical

At this point, the question in your mind should be, “Well, if that’s true, then I want to be a loving person. But what does love look like? How do I know I am a loving person?” Paul tells us:

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Check yourself with all these characteristics of love. This is what love looks like practically. But notice that these are not so much actions as they are attitudes. Paul does not say, “love is doing the dishes for your spouse or bringing her flowers on valentine’s day or giving him a foot massage.” those are specific acts, but if you look at what Paul said about love, love is patient, and kind, does not envy or boast,… these are inner attitudes toward the other person. So, love is not simple acts we do for the other person, but the attitude and emotions we have for the other person. It’s not so much a what, but a how – how you treat a person. You buy your wife a nice purse she always wanted, but only because you want to have an overnight fishing trip with your buddies. So, it’s a trade off… So, we could do acts of love but it wouldn’t actually be love because the attitude is wrong. You are really doing it for yourself! Paul addresses the attitude and emotions of love. Read again what He says about love, and check yourselves to see if you have this kind of attitude toward your significant other, toward your parents, toward your Christian brothers and sisters, and toward your even annoying co-workers.

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

It is not arrogant or rude: Love adds two more words. Love speaks in questions rather than imperatives. “Would you shut the door?” “Could you hand me the phone?” not, hey, “shut the door!” Or “Give me the phone!” I understand your desire to be efficient and use less number of words, but these extra words in the front – could you, would you, please, thank you, sorry really do show our attitude of love than not using them.

It does not insist on its own way: I’m so glad and thankful for you as a church because I have not heard you say, “Pastor, the music is just too loud and they are not hymns. We should sing hymns and play organs.” Because you understand that it’s not about you. We have many young people at our church that prefer the type of music we play and we the older folks are not insisting our own way. Now, if I had it my way, an orchestrate would be playing, and an opera singer would be leading our worship. The elevator music as young people would call it. But it’s not about me and I will not insist on my own way on things that do not carry theological signficance.

3. Love is impossible

7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

What could these means? I borrow from C.H. Spurgeon, a great preacher from the 19th century.

1. Bears all things – covers all things, True love refuses to see faults, unless it be that she may kindly help in their removal. Love has no wish to see faults.Love covers; that is, it never proclaims the errors of good men.
2. Believes all things – Love always believes the best of them… I believe that with all their faults they are the best people in the world, and that, although the church of God is not perfect, yet she is the bride of One who is. In other words, they are innocent until proven guilty. And if proven guilty?
3. Hopes all things – Love never despairs. She believes in good things yet to come in her fellow-men, even if she cannot believe in any present good in them. Hope all things about your brethren. Suppose a friend is a member of the church, and you cannot see any clear signs of grace in him, hope all things about him.
4. Endure all things – a patient perseverance in loving. This is perhaps the hardest work of all, for many people can be affectionate and patient for a time, but the task is to hold on year after year.

Supposedly mother teresa said this,

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway….

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

People are unlovely. Love them anyway.

Why should we do this? Where do we get the desire and motivation to love like this? Why shouldn’t we live selfishly when it is so much easier. We get it from Christ – the love Himself. What we have been talking about – putting others before us – is impossible to carry out. How do you make a selfish child who only thinks about himself to now think about his brother first? Nevermind our children. What about us? How do WE do it? God commands us to do things that are impossible for us to carry out. It is not in us to put God and others first. Just think how you act when you are tired! But God consistently commands us to do things that are impossible on our own so that we will fly to Christ and rely on Him and get His help because we can do it on our own.

No one has failed you more than yourself. How many times have you given yourself the excuses for your failures that you would never give anyone else? Now, can you love others like you love yourself? No. It’s not in you. It’s in me. But it’s in God. He didn’t strike you dead this morning for all your failures, which means He still loves you and is patient with you and kind to you, in spite of all your and my failings. Soak up His love. He loves you not because of who you are but because of who He is. If you are a child of God because you trust in Jesus, then know that God delights in you.