Self-esteem issue is not just for teen girls. It’s for middle-age males, too!

I thought by now, I’d be completely over my low self-esteem problems. As a teenager, having moved to this country and being new and unable to speak the language, I was alone much of the time. I always felt I was different and therefore, I didn’t really fit in. There were a few that hung around me, but I always felt that if they got to know my true self, they wouldn’t really like me. So, to compensate for that, I knew I had to work hard. I somehow had to prove to myself and others that I’m worthy. So, I excelled in academics, excelled in serving at church, excelled in moral uprightness, excelled in being an example to everybody. But unbeknownst to me, all of that striving to prove myself and masking my insecurity, I was training myself to trample on the gospel.

The gospel is that who I am matters more than what I do. It’s the issue of identity and not accomplishment. Who I am is established by God. I do not become who I am through accomplishments. Who I am is simply bestowed upon me when I believed in Jesus Christ. Just like I am my father’s son not because I have done something but because he, my father, has done something. I am God’s child not because I have done something but He, God, has done something. He has paid the greatest price of sacrificing His Son to buy my ransom!

So, I don’t have to try to prove myself either to me or to others. I am who I am by the grace of God. I am and you are, if you are a child of God, completely and irrevocably accepted by God. You are much much greater than who you think you are! You are a prince or princess of the King of kings and Lord of lords!

But what kills me is that I forget this! Often! I go into depression because I forget this. And that’s when I get into self-pity, envy, jealousy, burnouts, etc.

Look, I’m a pastor. I should know the gospel, right? It should be flowing through my veins by now, right? But not so. I must remind myself of the gospel everyday. The moment I forget it is when I become depressed or proud (depending on who I happened to be comparing myself to at the moment).

You are who God says you are. Not the world. Not yourself. And you are God’s most precious possession that He delights to give the world to!

PH