I’ve had more human contact this week than I did in months (due to school training), but I feel emotionally dead inside. Perhaps it is due to my limited time with the Lord, or maybe it is due to the fact that these conversations have nothing to do with God…
I realize that conversations that have nothing to do with God tend to drain me when I keep thinking in my head, “But how will this make eternal difference in people’s lives?” In a way, I’m ruined forever by the gospel as I think everything in terms of ultimate value – “Will this last forever?” 
My mind keeps going back to the book I just finished reading – Tortured for Christ – written by Pastor Richard Wurmbrand. There, he described Christians going through unimaginable sufferings they went through for Christ. But still, they had joy unparalleled by anything in the world. Their joy was supernatural. It was based on something beyond this world. Therefore, the degree of joy they experienced also went beyond what one can have in this world…
I keep longing for that joy. I keep desiring God to breakthrough and give us joy like only He can. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. I just know that I long for it…. 
“And in this I rejoice [at Christ being preached]… My eager expectation and hope is … Christ will be highly honored in my body, whether by life or by death.” Phil 1:20Let us continue to work for that which will last forever. 
“Only one life ’twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” – CT Studd
PH