Matthew 27:3-4-Then when Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, 4 saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” They said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.”
When I have sinful desires, it centers completely around me, period. It has no room for contemplating how it effects other people, or even myself negatively.  It shows how blinding sin can be, not only to our own destruction, but how deliberately dismissive we can be in honoring Jesus…
What is striking about Judas, is not so much that he could betray Jesus, but that he could recall His character and how good He was to him, even though he planned to turn Jesus over to be killed.  It was the “aftermath” of his sin that caused Judas to contemplate His goodness, not beforehand…
This shows that the ability to have guilt and want things to be different “after the fact”, has nothing to do with a relationship with God.  Rather it proves that while God was serving Judas with His life, he never considered that such love was for him to receive it!  Judas was blind to grace, and it is by grace that any of us believe and walk by faith, to receive and honor Jesus (Ephesians 2:8).
Though Judas had the opportunity to walk with Jesus, his eyes were never opened to receive God’s love and grace.  Instead Judas continued to focus on his own desires, and went onto betray Jesus with them (we all can relate).  The irony of this, was that Judas didn’t recognize the ramifications to what he was doing until it was too late. Sadly that is the perishing world we are in today, whose eyes are closed to Christ and His amazing love.
Hopefully the blindness in this world provokes us to gratitude for having our eyes opened to God’s grace, and not arrogance to think in our own power we are better than Judas.  Let it provoke us to compassion and action!
In His Love, Ld