Out of all the conflicts you’ve had with others, what percentage of them were your fault? Perhaps, they didn’t amount to external conflicts, but you felt slighted, upset, angry or betrayed. But how much of them were your fault rather than the other person?

10%? 5%? 0%? I don’t think any of us would be so arrogant to think that we are never at fault when a conflict arises. But most of us would agree that most of the time, it’s the other person’s fault. We can line up evidences and arguments that will prove why most of them are not our fault.

But here’s the shocking thought. The truth is probably closer to 50% or more! Probably more than half the time, you were at fault! “Not me! I can really justify why I was right to feel that way in most cases!” And If I were to ask the other person, s/he would say the same… Let’s think rationally. Whenever two people are in conflict, especially if they are both believers, the chances are that both are at fault equally…

Then, why do we think we are right most of the time? Because we are selfish. If we could see ourselves totally objectively, then we would not be so confident that we are right most of the time. In other words, if someone else were treated the way we were treated, perhaps we wouldn’t be so mad because we wouldn’t think it is a big deal.

We are biased toward our own opinions.

Being a Christian is being biased toward God’s opinion against our own. When God’s opinion comes in conflict with ours, it’s us that’s wrong. He’s smarter than us. And He loves us more than we love ourselves…

Only if the pharisees during Jesus’ time realized this. They were looking at the face of the glory of God, and yet they missed Him! What an opportunity they have let slip through their fingers! And that, because they valued their opinion more than God’s!

“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” John 7:24. 

The right judgment is the judgment that we are wrong at least half the time whenever we are in conflict with a believer. Are you humble enough to accept this?

PH