Galatians 2:11–But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.

One way to test whether grace is the “identity” of your relationship(s) is to consider how you respond to correction.  If we are very defensive at the slightest criticism, it is because we fear “our failure” will make us unlovable.  Like Adam and Eve, their sense of failure caused them to hide from Love (God) and each other.  Shame became the dominant trigger to defending any and all correction …

But if we understand grace in the gospel correctly, we know that Christ bore our shame, knowing that we are full of it, seeing that we are sinners!  So when we are confronted, corrected, and rebuked, our response shouldn’t be an amazing justification as to why we did things in such a way.  It should always lead us to reconsider.  Because if grace is the real root of our identification, being wrong may not just be possible, but probable!

Sadly, when shame instead of grace is the root of our identity, especially in children, any correction is followed with a head hung low and confidence shot.  In adults, that low confidence can turn into a vicious defense of all correction because the shame is so deep.  Relationships like these can never flourish, because in order to grow we must acknowledge we need to, breeding humility instead of stubborn pride…

The reason a new apostle like Paul can confront an established well known apostle like Peter (Cephas) in front of everybody, was because Paul considered the gospel more important than Peter’s ego.  Peter was able to accept the correction, because he too considered the gospel more important than his ego.  So the relationship flourished in Christ!  As long as our identity is rooted in fear and shame, why would we seek God, He is always confronting and correcting!  Not to further condemn us into hopeless shame, but in love, for us to seek forgiveness and grace for growth.

In His Love, Ld