Our children are nice and somewhat obedient if we train them to be so. But the trick is to get them to WANT TO obey in their latter years. As they hit their teen years, unless that “want to” is there, they will go their own way no matter what their childhood was like.

It’s what I call “Habit vs. Understanding.” If a habit was formed in our children to be well-behaved, they will behave somewhat well only because they were trained to be so – saying “thank you,” “excuse me,” “please,” etc. But unless the understanding is there, all that good habit we formed in them will come unraveled.

What understanding am I talking about? The understanding as to why they should obey. Why it is better to do it one way than another. Why the parents are telling them what they tell them. Another way of calling this understanding is wisdom. But this understanding is not a matter of the intellect but a matter of the heart. Therefore, it won’t do to logically lay it out for them why they should do what they should do. They will never consent to that. But we need to speak to their heart so that they “see” why they should obey.

“The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your fathers, if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deut. 30:10

This brings the discussion to you. When you obey God, why do you obey? Why do you go to church? Why do you give offering? Why do you stay in your marriage? Do you “see” that the Lord’s way is better? Do you have an understanding? Is your heart in it? Or is it just out of habit because you’ve always been nice?

PH